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The Elusive Search For happiness

What if I told you that you don’t have to search for happiness, that you had it right in front of you, inside you, to the left of you, to the right and at the back and it has nothing to do with having. You have all the happiness at your disposal, you just never take the time to be still and understand the joy of discovery.

We can discover the secret to happiness because we had it all along.

But, first we need to understand ourselves a little better and what’s important in our lives.

How do you want to live your life?

Seriously, take a few minutes to stop reading and ponder the answer to this question.

How do YOU want to live your life?

Do you live;

Always thinking you never have enough and need more and more?

Without true love in your heart?

Only focussing on the finish line?

In the past?

In the future?

Do you think that you will be happy if you have;

A newer car?

A bigger house?

A better job?

Another child?

More possessions?

Another qualification?

Do you constantly;

Want to keep up with your friends?

Believe and strive for what social media tells you happiness is?

Lament and ponder the past?

Find yourself worrying about the future?

Promise yourself tomorrow will be different?

Try and change only to find you are doing the same thing in no time?

Have you;

Given up?

Told yourself it will be ok?

Surrounded yourself with people who are just as unhappy?

Convinced yourself you’re not good enough, smart enough, fit enough, funny enough, in fact you’re just not enough?

Those are the two most destructive words in our language. Not enough. These words keep us on a constant treadmill of needing and wanting more. ‘Not enough’ conjures up visions of less than.

We are bombarded by unattainable ‘beauty’, unattainable possessions that are shown with happy smiling people, because people who are enough have things, big things. Women who are happy have plump pouts and amazing bodies (pre and post childbirth), the latest fashion and a perfect partner and children. Just look at social media, post after post of the perfect life. Men who are happy have big muscles, big bank balances, big careers and the women with the lips to match their muscles. If we work harder and longer, we too can have this happiness. That’s our perception. But perception is a hard task master, when what we perceive is false.

We can alter this perception, it’s not too late to do a sharp 180 degree turn. You just need to want to get off the treadmill and start living and not being the ticket to someone else’s fortune. Our vulnerability is being preyed upon because we feel we aren’t enough.

I hate to be the one to tell you but happiness isn’t the size or amount of anything in the material world. In fact, there is nothing in the material world that can bring lasting happiness. Yes, the latest thing can make us happy for a short time, until the bills come in or it breaks or it goes out of fashion. True happiness comes from who you are not what you are or have. Unfortunately, the more you have the more you will want and so the treadmill keeps turning. Of course, I’m not telling you to go out and give away all your possessions and you will discover happiness, but I am asking for the next month be happy with exactly what you have right now. Take note of what you have. Surely this is enough to keep you happy for a month without wanting more.

Next, and every day going forward;

· Be grateful for your list.

· Ask yourself how can I make someone else’s life better.

· Make sure your relationships are loving and only say kind things.

· Try not to get angry.

· Love the people in your life and be absolutely grateful that you have them to love.

· Get off your phone or devise and play for at least 2 hours.

· Laugh.

One month and let me know how much happier you are focussing on what you have rather than what you don’t have.

Let’s face it, you have everything you need every time you look in the mirror and see that amazing, loving, intelligent, capable person looking back at you, because true happiness comes from knowing who you are and what you have to offer and has nothing to do with what others say, think or have.

“There is only one important point you must keep in your mind and let it be your guide. No matter what people call you, you are just who you are. Keep to this truth. You must ask yourself how is it you want to live your life. We live and we die, this is the truth that we can only face alone. No one can help us, not even the Buddha. So, consider carefully, what prevents you from living the way you want to live your life?” His Holiness the Dalai Lama


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